This is it, I'm moving on. A different phase calls for a new way of venting/dumping my thoughts and feelings. But I think my time here is up and I will be moving somewhere else. Maybe it will be in black or white or another blogging platform, I still have no idea. But for now its all good. I'm now very cautious about who I'm allowing to enter my life because I made one mistake and I'm not stupid enough to make another one. Good bye darlings, just keep swimming.
EVERYTHING IS OKAY WHEN I OPENED AN EMAIL AND SAW THIS
Well I'm not sure if you can see this but a million thank you so much tiffany I should have opened my email yesterday. Listen t it, favourite it and go trigger happy because this friend of mine has great taste.
Also, I never told Wanyi that but that birthday card kept me alive for 2 days now.
And I received a whole lot of unexpected things as well. I have found incredible friends and a wonderful sister who has been so sensitive towards how I feel and I can't be more grateful for that. Also, a phonecall from Australia (WHOOHOO) and our conversation that put me at risk of getting punched in public by a certain community but it was fun, the idea of long distance calls makes me happy.
I had a short talk with Junwei yesterday and he told me that being 'legal' would be really cool for a week or two but after that the novelty will wear off. I must say I had my first legal sip of alcohol yesterday and its not my cup of tea. (Hahaha alcohol, tea..) So I probably won't be that psyched in that context. This is it, I am a year older, I am more mature, but I am more emotional than ever.
I feel extremely lame tonight, I have surpassed myself and cracked 4 lame jokes within 2 hours, 3 with Tiffany and 1 with Ruiqi. Talk to me, I may be able to come up with more, but I am not witty as you think. And quote, I am not 'rapid'.
When I wake up tomrrow I'm going to think to myself: God how am I going to survive this, how am I going to conquer another year. Please let me live on God, please don't abandon me.
Then I'll find myself frantically grabbing my journal and write my heart out, until I can't find anymore words to describe them, till my tears have all dried and I have no more emotions settling inside of me because I have already been sucked dry.
After spending time with myself these few days, I have discovered a little more about my subconscious habits and traits. One of which is that everytime I read something (whether it is an article online or a piece of writing on paper) I tend to scan through the first paragraph first then I'll scroll to the last part and read the paragraphs in decending order. I have shared this with Wanyi and she told me thats totally uninteresting. I don't know how this is going to affect the way I read articles or writings in anyway but wow I really never knew this about myself.
H2 mathematics 2009 papers are due tomorrow and I am only halfway through one paper, but its not timed so I don't have to forcefully plant myself at my desk and recite a certain mantra to keep the momentum. F1 race is tonight and I'm gonna watch it regardless of the workload.
P.S. Van Gogh museum with Wanyi 2 days ago was breathtaking, I might do a post of it after developing my film, or not... (Because I'd like to keep these precious memories to myself. Heeheehee)
